Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Alive.
So much puke
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
