YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
