Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
