Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
