Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
