ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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