I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
