No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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