Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There's always time for handjobs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
In other news, I just burned my penis
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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