I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
