there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Randomize
