My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
