I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize