Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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