Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The air taste purple.
Randomize
