You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
