so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
