lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
