Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
