omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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