Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
