Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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