some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
