ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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