Me too!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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