Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
