dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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