Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
