real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i out mim tonsoeep
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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