So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
