I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
