Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
