how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize