so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
