I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
