I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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