can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
