doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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