Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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