the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
