she woke up with a sticky ear
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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