i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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