this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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