He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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