I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
