You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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