I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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