i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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