Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
