I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
